It's one of those days when you shouldn't look at Facebook! So I see that someone who I really like would appear to have separated from their partner. I expressed and interest and made my intentions clear before they met up with them. I wasn't successful then so I'll keep my council now. All I know is that I'm not out to be a game player and take advantage of people. I've offered a little bridge, if they choose to take it up and build upon it I'd be receptive. Chances are it won't happen and I'll have to let it go.
On another note, I was at a family do yesterday and I had to deal with my cousin and her partner with their baby. The first thing that springs to mind is a child outside of marriage. Fine for them as they don't subscribe to the views that I do - but there is no way that I could have a child with someone without being married. That said, chances of finding someone else that shares that sentiment are looking slimmer by the moment.
It just feels like a couple of days of being kicked in the teeth for various reasons but with a few good sides as well. What I think it seems to say to me is that time is running out. I need to find someone really quickly and actually get down to getting what I want.
it's not as easy as that, it's a case of convincing myself that I want to trade / sacrifice / share what I have built up un my life so far and allow someone else in to potentially compromise that and take away what I have achieved so far. And that comes down to trust, or more precisely - my inherent lack of it.
It's all a bit of a mess really and I don't seem to be making that much of a good job of dealing with it. I kind of want it all, in my own way and on my own terms. The chances of fining someone that will be happy to fit in with that idea is pretty slim.
Its all a bit of a mess really.
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