Lent

So we reach this time of year again.  The imminent arrival of the season that is Lent.  The chance to focus upon our faith, our temptations and indeed, our resolve.  And it comes at a moment when I am maybe feeling a little weaker in some areas.

There's a few things that maybe I need to return to my directly conscious mind.  Firstly, I have never really found a Church here in Salisbury.  There are many things that I wish I had, but a sense of community may well be the biggest.  I don't know where I'm going to find it, but I certainly haven't done so yet.

I think back to Easters that have been before.  Many years ago, I was travelling with someone that I then cared about - but we have drifted apart now and that is much for the better.  But those years ago, Easter was a time that really had spiritual impact, something that I had community around me to appreciate.  Then a few years later, I remember Easter at my local Church in Basingstoke at the time.  The place where I was confirmed.  That was a community of a kind.  But it also served to show me what I din't want.

It was a 'nice' congregation.  But it wasn't an inspirational congregation.  It was very formal, very 'old school' and traditional.  That's fine if you're only a few years away from shuffling off or you were born in the 50's.  I want to celebrate and praise.  I want to feel inspired and invigorated to take the feeling with me for the rest of the week.

I felt a little of that last year, when I went to Church with a more recent friend.  It felt good, it felt right in respect of the celebratory elements of there service.  That said, I realised that I have a bit of an issue with being self conscious in such situations.  I wish I could loose that.

I wish I cloud find a local Church where I felt like I fitted in, where I could be me and worship in the style that I feel fits me as a person.  But this is Salisbury, about as conservative and boringly middle England as it is possible to get.

Anyway, to Lent this year.  I think I will give up much the same as I did last year.  Perhaps with a couple of small changes.

My abstinence will be from the following;

• Cheese, and all products containing cheese.
• Beer
• Cider
• Spirits / Fortified alcohol over 20% proof

I will also endevour to do the following;

• Spend at least 15 minutes each day in prayer and reflection - more time when circumstances allow.
• Follow the reading plan for the scriptures laid out here

So, as tomorrow is Shrove Tuesday and there is so little the before Lent begins, I pray and I hope to make these my focus for the period to follow…

Father, please guide me to find a local Church where I can feel at home
to be myself and worship and celebrate in a way that I feel comfortable with.

As this time approaches when I will deny myself things that I enjoy and crave,
please hear my prayers for the things that I need.

I need love, I need companionship.
I need someone to stand by my side as my equal.
I need someone who will love me as I love them.

I feel so lonely at the moment, 
though I fill the time with whatever I can
so that I don't feel so empty.

Please move someone across my path that might make this happen.

Yet, as I pray for the things that I want,
please help me to see what I can do to help others,
to see the things that I can pray for to help them,
and to find the time to do so.

In Jesus Name
Amen