... a little rain must fall.
Ok, so on reflection, I've had a really decent run of good fortune earlier on in the year and I suppose the fact that now things are not going exactly to plan is really only compensation for that - after all, the universe needs to balance. The Lord must share good and ill fortune upon people equally.
Anyway, my old macbook has come back yet again as the second person to buy it on ebay say it is faulty. What he has described sounds like the fault that I claimed against Apple under EU law for but now that I have the machine back, I am damned if I can replicate it. So I think I will just flog it to the local cash converters - the fault that they were moaning about, and that I had an issue with before was an intermittent fault based on certain components overheating and shutting down. It's unlikely to do that when they test it and buy it off me, and after that it's their problem. It's a bit unethical perhaps but I need the money and it's just going to be easier to do that and take a slight loss that it is to go through the grief of selling it on ebay and dealing with any faults that may come up again.
Other that that someone that I work with has been involved in a pretty sever car accident and they're going to be off for the foreseeable future. They're ok - just. The car was a hell of a mess from the pictures that they sent me. Thank God, they are basically ok - a couple of cracked ribs and a ruptured knee, but they will recover. I think that it was very close to being far more severe. That said, their absence has put a major strain on at work. Trying to deal with the busiest time of year with one full-time member of staff down is nothing short of a nightmare. However, there's not much that can be done - it's not their fault that they're off and nature will take it's course, it's not a click-your-fingers type of healing process - it could be 4 weeks odd for cracked ribs.
So I am really tired right now. I mean, I woke up this morning, after a decent night's sleep and felt like I was ready to go back to bed. I'm back on the high caffeine energy drinks again too. I just need something to get me through it all to Christmas day and Boxing Day. I'm not quite running on empty but I'm getting close.
I managed to get down the gym tonight for a decent work out but I'm feeling knackered now. I am going to try and get down there again on Friday after work too. I need to keep this going in the run up to the Christmas Eve weigh in. Only 3 pounds to go for 5 stone in a year. Now is not the time for faint heart, for faint heart never won fair lady.
I don't have a fair lady in mind right now but it'll be a lot easier to find one if I am looking trim and fit for purpose.
That is all for now I think...
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Wednesday, 18 December 2013
Saturday, 28 September 2013
Its been a long time
It's been a long time,
I shouldn't have left you,
Without a dub beat to step to.
When I grab the microphone you'd better hit the dex
Time's up - sorry I kept you.
It's been a long time,
Since I had ta,
Pick up the microphone and get badda.
Ain't no other MC on the AKG,
I flip the script like the rest don't matter.
The DJ cuts it up like a shaolin monk
Pumping the funk in your junk trunk punk
I flip it live cos I know where it's at
Pumping funk in the cracks,
Cutting wax with an axe.
I got rhymes real tight
Beats faster than light
Like a ton of TNT
I'm about to ignite
Cos I flip the script on this fuckin' debacle
Passin' the dutch like kids pass the parcel.
There you go, you can have that one for free! Not sure it's worth any money anyway.
So anyhow, it's been a while since I put anything on here. Not to say that things haven't been going on - they have. More to the point, there hasn't really been the time to put them on here anyway.
Work has been doing my head in. It's the end of the internal financial year so there's been 2 stock takes in one month - well, the second one is tomorrow. Other than that, there's a fair bit of stress going on over all this end of year shit as well. Frankly I could do with out it, but it's part of the job.
Anyway, apart from the work stuff, which isn't exactly going badly - it's just a bit rough right now... there are some positives as well. Dad has put me in contact with his financial adviser and it looks like I should be able to get a few bits sorted out to grow a little bit of wealth and security for the longer term. I have also decided that seeings as the government is going to privatise the Royal Mail, it seems like a good idea to buy a lump of shares as a longer term investment.
This is all seriously starting to sound like I am getting organised in some kind of way - and more scarily that I would appear to be showing signs of maturity and sensibility. This just wont do. I need to get back to being childish and irresponsible as soon as possible!
In all seriousness, things are good right now - and for that I am really thankful. There's so much that has come to my, by the Lord's grace. I can't help but feel there will be a darker period some time soon. Life seems to have these fiscal cycles - things go from good to bad and then back to good again. This really feels like the peak of an up cycle. Things are pretty much as I would have them, give or take a little bit.
The only thing that I really wish I could make progress with is the weight loss. I have come a massive distance so far. I have lost 4 stone, which is huge. I am now stuck on a weight that I can't seem to move from. I have to take a large degree of responsibility for this myself. I have let my control on my eating and alcohol consumption loosen a little. It's not bad, but it's not as tight as I know it could be. That said, I am doing more down the gym that I have previously. I am knocking off 600 calories as session before I even do any weights. And I have been able to manage 3 sessions a week over the last few weeks. But still the weight sticks at this point. I know I have lost weight and changed shape, it just doesn't seem real. I don't really feel it or see it in myself the way that I guess others do. To me I feel just as fat as I did before in so many ways. I can totally see how people can get caught up in thinking that they are always overweight when they are not.
Who knows, somehow I guess I will have to revisit my motivation and see if I can regroup to make progress. After all, there must be progress to be made.
I shouldn't have left you,
Without a dub beat to step to.
When I grab the microphone you'd better hit the dex
Time's up - sorry I kept you.
It's been a long time,
Since I had ta,
Pick up the microphone and get badda.
Ain't no other MC on the AKG,
I flip the script like the rest don't matter.
The DJ cuts it up like a shaolin monk
Pumping the funk in your junk trunk punk
I flip it live cos I know where it's at
Pumping funk in the cracks,
Cutting wax with an axe.
I got rhymes real tight
Beats faster than light
Like a ton of TNT
I'm about to ignite
Cos I flip the script on this fuckin' debacle
Passin' the dutch like kids pass the parcel.
There you go, you can have that one for free! Not sure it's worth any money anyway.
So anyhow, it's been a while since I put anything on here. Not to say that things haven't been going on - they have. More to the point, there hasn't really been the time to put them on here anyway.
Work has been doing my head in. It's the end of the internal financial year so there's been 2 stock takes in one month - well, the second one is tomorrow. Other than that, there's a fair bit of stress going on over all this end of year shit as well. Frankly I could do with out it, but it's part of the job.
Anyway, apart from the work stuff, which isn't exactly going badly - it's just a bit rough right now... there are some positives as well. Dad has put me in contact with his financial adviser and it looks like I should be able to get a few bits sorted out to grow a little bit of wealth and security for the longer term. I have also decided that seeings as the government is going to privatise the Royal Mail, it seems like a good idea to buy a lump of shares as a longer term investment.
This is all seriously starting to sound like I am getting organised in some kind of way - and more scarily that I would appear to be showing signs of maturity and sensibility. This just wont do. I need to get back to being childish and irresponsible as soon as possible!
In all seriousness, things are good right now - and for that I am really thankful. There's so much that has come to my, by the Lord's grace. I can't help but feel there will be a darker period some time soon. Life seems to have these fiscal cycles - things go from good to bad and then back to good again. This really feels like the peak of an up cycle. Things are pretty much as I would have them, give or take a little bit.
The only thing that I really wish I could make progress with is the weight loss. I have come a massive distance so far. I have lost 4 stone, which is huge. I am now stuck on a weight that I can't seem to move from. I have to take a large degree of responsibility for this myself. I have let my control on my eating and alcohol consumption loosen a little. It's not bad, but it's not as tight as I know it could be. That said, I am doing more down the gym that I have previously. I am knocking off 600 calories as session before I even do any weights. And I have been able to manage 3 sessions a week over the last few weeks. But still the weight sticks at this point. I know I have lost weight and changed shape, it just doesn't seem real. I don't really feel it or see it in myself the way that I guess others do. To me I feel just as fat as I did before in so many ways. I can totally see how people can get caught up in thinking that they are always overweight when they are not.
Who knows, somehow I guess I will have to revisit my motivation and see if I can regroup to make progress. After all, there must be progress to be made.
Monday, 8 April 2013
Feeling a little empty
I have to say that I am feeling a little empty right now. There's a sense of lethargy that I haven't felt for a while. I only managed 45 minutes down the gym tonight for the sake of feeling tired and lethargic. And now Im home, putting down these words when I really ought to be doing some paperwork for work. What I really want is to leave all this behind and just get to an emotionally even keel.
I feeling pretty fed up with waiting at the moment - patience has never been one of my strong points, especially with things that seem to really plod. I just want to fast forward through time, I guess about 6 months or so would do it. Past the point where I have to cope with a certain someone going out of my life, to the point in time when I have lost enough weight not to be classed as 'fat' any more. I have been slowly chugging away at the weight loss thing and can now proudly say that I have managed to loose 2 stone since Boxing Day. Most weeks I am still managing the two pounds but it just feels so slow. I cant really see / feel that much of a change most of the time. Occasionally something comes along that makes me realise that I have lost weight and can now do something that I could not before, or I can fit into clothes that haven't fitted me for a while. If I can keep this up then I should be at or near my target weight in another 6 months, and the maybe I will be confident enough to actually meet someone and do something about what I really want out of life - a wife and family.
At the moment though I am still fat. Despite the progress, and the positivity that I try to gain from that, I just want to get rid of it all now. I don't have a problem with people being whatever size they are - as long as they are happy.
I used to pretend I was happy with my size until I was enlightened and came to see that I was self harming and binge eating. Now I am most definitely not happy with my size - it is a constant reminder of the abuse that sparked the cycle of harm and the years that I proliferated it. I hate what I see around the person that is inside. I don't hate myself, I hate the layer of fat that stops the person inside me from being free.
I don't want to be ungrateful, there are many people who are really struggling to loose weight and so far it hasn't been as hard a challenge as perhaps it might be (and may yet become). I don't want to play down what I have achieved.
The only way I can describe it is that it is like Christmas, when you know what you will get because you asked for it long in advance. You build up to that big moment when you get what you want but you just want time to rush by quicker. It doesn't mean that you don't appreciate the anticipation, you just wish time would go by quicker to get to the end reward.
One day I WILL be a normal weight, one day I WILL accept that I deserve to be loved as a person, one day I WILL have the confidence in my own appearance and my own worthiness to do something about finding a long term relationship.
God Willing.
I feeling pretty fed up with waiting at the moment - patience has never been one of my strong points, especially with things that seem to really plod. I just want to fast forward through time, I guess about 6 months or so would do it. Past the point where I have to cope with a certain someone going out of my life, to the point in time when I have lost enough weight not to be classed as 'fat' any more. I have been slowly chugging away at the weight loss thing and can now proudly say that I have managed to loose 2 stone since Boxing Day. Most weeks I am still managing the two pounds but it just feels so slow. I cant really see / feel that much of a change most of the time. Occasionally something comes along that makes me realise that I have lost weight and can now do something that I could not before, or I can fit into clothes that haven't fitted me for a while. If I can keep this up then I should be at or near my target weight in another 6 months, and the maybe I will be confident enough to actually meet someone and do something about what I really want out of life - a wife and family.
At the moment though I am still fat. Despite the progress, and the positivity that I try to gain from that, I just want to get rid of it all now. I don't have a problem with people being whatever size they are - as long as they are happy.
I used to pretend I was happy with my size until I was enlightened and came to see that I was self harming and binge eating. Now I am most definitely not happy with my size - it is a constant reminder of the abuse that sparked the cycle of harm and the years that I proliferated it. I hate what I see around the person that is inside. I don't hate myself, I hate the layer of fat that stops the person inside me from being free.
I don't want to be ungrateful, there are many people who are really struggling to loose weight and so far it hasn't been as hard a challenge as perhaps it might be (and may yet become). I don't want to play down what I have achieved.
The only way I can describe it is that it is like Christmas, when you know what you will get because you asked for it long in advance. You build up to that big moment when you get what you want but you just want time to rush by quicker. It doesn't mean that you don't appreciate the anticipation, you just wish time would go by quicker to get to the end reward.
One day I WILL be a normal weight, one day I WILL accept that I deserve to be loved as a person, one day I WILL have the confidence in my own appearance and my own worthiness to do something about finding a long term relationship.
God Willing.
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